Monday, December 10, 2007

What Have I Learned?

Saturday was my 30th birthday. I don't normally do this, but this year being a milestone year and a time of year that I always do a little reflecting, I've thought about what I've learned in my 3 decades of living.

I've learned that I'm not perfect and I never will be. Perfection is often born out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of lonliness. All things we try to avoid. If we're perfect, we won't be failures, people won't disapprove of us and we we won't be lonely. The problem with that, is that even though we aren't perfect, we will never be complete failures, we will never be lonely and we will never be disapproved of by those who love us most; and that's ok.

I've learned that learning is important. We are always evolving, we are always changing. We are always experiencing new things that shape our view and our ideas of the world around us. Everything can be learned from and it's the knowledge we gain from our experiences that shapes us and makes us the people that we are.

I've learned that I love it when my daughter screams when it's time to go home from daycare. She throws absolute fits sometimes and I adore them. They show me that she is having fun, that she enjoys her life and that she doesn't want to stop having a good time and feeling good. These tantrums give me the ability to go to work each day knowing that she is in good hands and that I don't have to think about her or worry about her all day long and she's not wondering why mommy ran off and abandoned her at this house.

I've learned that relationships are more important than things. The old saying goes, he who dies with the most toys wins. I say, he who dies with the most friends wins. I read Tuesdays with Morrie and it really moved me to re-examine my priorities and re consider my goals and aspirations and what I want to accomplish in my life. No one ever lies on their death bed wishing they had more money or worked more hours. It's the relationships in your life that need to be cared for and nurtured for these are the people that will wish you well on your journey to whatever is next.

I've learned that I have a lot more learning to do. What have you learned?