Monday, May 30, 2011

Picking Up

When I was coming to the realization that my marriage was ending, I discovered that I was really lonely. I had spent the majority of the previous 14 years slowly isolating myself from my friends. When we all graduated high school and scattered to the wind, we exchanged phone numbers and addresses and promised to always keep in touch.

I came down to really only having 2 good friends, and neither of them were people I had promised to keep in touch with. It didn't bother me so much then.. I had a job, I had a young child, I had a marriage and house to distract me.

Then Facebook came along, and I re-connected with a lot of the friends I had drifted from. We've all grown and changed, but in so many ways we've stayed the same. At our core, we're all pretty much the same people. Maybe I'm naive and completely off base, but in the last year, I have really enjoyed my friends again. I have come to believe that acquaintances may come and go, but true friends will be around to pick up wherever you left off no matter how much time has passed.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Let's Try This Again...

Ok, so I haven't been so great at this blogging thing. Over a year ago, I posted about a church service I went to about adversity. I still think about that service, and I would still rather be coffee.

2010 brought another year of big changes in my life. I didn't post about it, but at the end of 2009, I decided, and told my husband, that I couldn't be married to him anymore. We didn't hate each other, we just weren't right to be married to each other.

I did find a temp job that had started in February and lasted through April. After receiving an offer and asking if it was negotiable (because is was $5-8,000 lower than originally discussed) the offer was rescinded. Assholes.

I had been looking for an apartment and found one in the next town, but being without a job again was tough. I had some money saved, I had some good feedback on my resume, so in May, I took a huge gamble and moved out of the house I'd shared with my husband. Without a job. I worked a bit for a family business, and found myself a job that started on June 30th of last year. It doesn't pay enough, and I still help out the family business, but it's around the corner from where I live and it has good potential for growth.

I'm in a better school district for Sugarplum, my best friend watches her after school and my husband and I share 50/50 custody. She gets 2 days a week with each of us plus alternating weekends. It works out really well and she's thriving. The split household took a little bit of getting used to for her, but overall, she's done very well and we've remained very consistent with her schedule.

There were more changes in 2010 that I'll write more about later, but it's these events.. the job loss.. the move.. the new job.. the separation.. these stand out as some of the biggest risks I have ever taken. They are also the events that have brought me the most personal growth and for that, I will cherish them always.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I'd Rather Be Coffee

I started attending church again. It's been 4 weeks now. I'm going to the local UU church. I have played with Belief-o-matic more than once, and each time I've been determined to be 100% UU.

It's been a really challenging year for a variety of reasons and 2010 promises improvement, if I bring it about the necessary changes. This is one of them.

Today's service was appropriately about facing adversity. As part of the sermon, the minister told the story of The Carrot, The Egg, and the Coffee Bean. When she first posed the question of which we would rather be, I immediately thought coffee, without hearing the story.

I came home and found it posted online on several sites, so a lot of people already know this story I'm sure. I've decided that 2010 is the year for me to turn myself into coffee.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Back on the wagon

Wow... has it really been 5 months since I've posted anything? I shudder to think what that means about how full my reader is.. guess I need to get caught up in a big way.

I for one am not at all sorry to see 2009 go. It's been an awful year. We started off struggling with finances since my husband's job was cut back. We were lucky that he found a new job quickly.. but we still have some digging out of a hole to do. I also got laid off in November.. and have not been lucky enough to find another job as quickly. It's a terrible time of year to find a new job. I have a call for one on Monday, so we'll see how that goes. It's a temp position but hopefully it will pay more than unemployment.

Sugarplum is doing alright in pre-school. She started off great, but since October has had trouble. She gets sad, she misses home and mommy. The novelty of it wore off. We met with the school, she's not the first child to go through a tough transition and she won't be the last. Most days she's good when I pick her up. I'm hoping when she goes back after this holiday break she won't be in tears every morning. We'll see how it goes. So far she's been in a positive mood about it.

Here's hoping the New Year brings peace and happiness to all, and healing for those that need it.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Goodbye July

Au Revoir! Sayonara! Auf Wiedersehen! Do Svidanja! Don't let the door slap your ass on the way out!

The month started off with a bang. My mother suffered a serious injury and spent some time recovering at my house. Sugarplum spent two weeks at her new preschool. My husband has been cramming for tests to finish his commercial pilot certification. Work has been extra stressful for everyone, so as you can imagine, it's been a month for the record books.

I started August off on a good note though. Saturday, I took Sugarplum to a water park for playing and a picnic. She had LOTS of fun. Yesterday I got some housework done and hung out with my mom. My husband took the written portion of his test and passed.

Feeling a little more positive this morning with a few bucks in my wallet I decided to treat myself to a mocha and bagel at our cafeteria this morning... and guess what? My favorite bagel is back!

A year or so ago, my favorite bagel was replaced with an imposter. My favorite bagel was an onion bagel that had asiago cheese baked into the top of it. Not little bits of onion that give you really bad breath before meetings. It was replaced with a plain bagel with a whole lot more cheese on the top of it. This morning, my beloved onion/asiago was back. I'm choosing to take this as a good sign that August will be a much better month.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Toddler Diaries #2 - Pre-school Days #2

Well the week at daycare last week ended smoothly. Sugarplum made 3 little friends that she has talked about and seems to have had fun with all her little projects. Each day we collect her work from her drawer which mainly consists of various colored worksheets, rubber stamp collages and even a dinosaur fossil. I'm still not sure what material they used exactly, but it looks like a fun project and Sugarplum was very excited to show it to me.

This week they are learning about community helpers. I'm sure I'll be able to extend the lessons at home and get her to help find toys in her room to donate. I'm getting tired of it looking like Toys R Us threw up in there.

She does miss her daycare and got a chance to talk on the phone to her daycare lady this weekend. She'll be excited to go back for the month next week and hopefully we won't have too many tears when it's time to say goodbye. There will be lots of changes to visit since Oma lives next door will be surely cushion the blow.

Looking through grown up eyes, her concerns and worries are so trivial, but to her they mean the world. If I do my job right, I'll ease her mind and spirit and she'll sail through this transition with only minor bumps and swells marking the passage along the way.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Toddler Diaries #1: Pre-school Days

dear blogland, it's been 2+ months since my last post, please forgive me. All two of you that read this blog. :)

For the past several months, Sugarplum has struggled with the rules at daycare. She has been testing the limits and boundaries with the daycare provider and the other kids. We tried everything we could think of to no avail. We found that on days there were no other kids at daycare, or just 1 or 2, were much better days. From that, I drew the conclusion that the issue for her is not necessarily the rules or other kids, but that she views the daycare lady's home as her space, her territory, and if she doesn't want to share she doesn't think she should have to.

I've got another think coming for her.

Pre-school is on the horizon for fall and I found a school near work that I really like. Best of all, the daycare lady is on vacation this week and next week, so she gets to try it out before she goes full time in September.

Yesterday was her first day. She made an easy transition in the morning and had no problems telling us goodbye and settling in. She even made friends with another little girl. Her favorite part of the day was recess and judging by the seat of her shorts, she had lots of fun on the slide.

Each child has a cubby and work drawer that the parents collect their things from. Yesterday the drawer contained a folder of info from the school, as well as 4 or 5 worksheets Sugarplum had done. They're learning about dinosaurs and community helpers these two weeks so she had several coloring pages with dinosaurs on them.

It's bitter sweet for her dad and I. We know she needs to make the transition, we found a way to make it work out financially and with working hours, and as exciting as it is to see her blossom and grow, it's a little sad too to know that she is slowly, going to begin growing away from us.